Baby!

It has been awhile and I have missed posting. I have just been too tired lately! Things are going well. On Jan. 14, 2010 I started to feel the baby move. It was quite strange at first feeling the little flutters/bubbles/ tickles. Now, I absolutely LOVE it. I love being reminded of the miracle growing in me. I am SO thankful and still find myself thinking this is all a dream on some days. We had our ultrasound on Wednesday and I was SO nervous. I just kept praying that everything would be okay and God reminded me that He is in control that He is in charge of this creation and I really can't do anything other than try and be healthy with what I put in my body. My breath was taken away when the baby first popped up on the screen. I just could not believe that was our baby and that baby was in ME. I was trying not to cry too much because it was shaking the ultrasound thingy. All the organs look good, so that was a big sigh of relief. The baby is measuring pretty small and so of course I took that away with me and worried over it and still fight the worry. The dr. said I don't need to worry about it at this point. But, I do. So, I will cling to God's word.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

Would you like to know what we are having?

We are having a Girl!

I was in complete shock. I was sure it was a boy.

I am completely in love with having a girl though. :)

Keep the FAITH friends. My prayer is for God to bless you with a child in someway, somehow, in HIS perfect timing.

Encouraging Stuff!

Right now, hubby and I are doing a Bible study with 2 other amazing couples. We are going through Charles F. Stanley book How to Let God Solve Your Problems~12 Keys To Finding Clear Guidance In Life's Trial. This book has been so encouraging and I have learned SO much.

We are almost done with the book and chapter 11 has lots of great points that I want to share.

I will leave you here with one quote from the chapter.

"The truth is:brokeness is a pathway to a blessing."

To be continued!

Can't think of a good title

So, I have been struggling with letting go...letting go of the feeling of "rejection" from some of my infertility friends. Okay, I said it. I never in a million years would have thought I would have felt rejected by my friends who are struggling with infertilty. Why can't you just be happy for me I want to say?! I know your pain-I was there. Just because I am happy doesn't mean I have forgotten about your pain. It is like I don't know how to be happy without feeling guilty.

I continue to pray that God blesses you someday somehow.

I do want to insert here that I have many wonderful amazing, supportive, absolutely fantastic friends who have been more than happy for us and even shedded a tear when we told them AND who are still waiting for their miracles and I pray that you know who you are since I don't want to name names here.

Maybe I am just being really sensitive and need to just move on which could very well be the case. Maybe I am just being selfish to want everyone to be happy for my hubby and I. Happy that we are pregnant. Wondering if it would be different if we decided to adopt? Sadly, I don't think we would have had the same response.

I have vowed since I started this blog to be transparent and real and well, I suppose I should keep with that, right.

Anyway, I will move on...right now! I am going to enjoy this most beautiful time God has brought our way.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Phil. 4:6

Stay tuned for a belly picture!

Sharing (finally) :) ...What God Has Been Doing

I have been praying, thinking, worrying, resting, seeking advice, praying, thinking, worrying, and praying some more on how to start this post. And, then it hit me not too long ago about why this is so hard. It all comes down to worldly fear, fear of 'losing' readers, sadness that our good news will bring pain to others and that all too familiar feeling of "I am happy for her, yet oh so sad," even feeling 'guilty' that I have been blessed this way. And before I knew it, in walked my ultra sensitive-afraid of hurting others self. Then God gave me this verse-

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

God does not say "the same future." All of our futures and what our future family will look different, but if we earnstly seek Him He will give us our best future. We pray that His desires would become ours and that His desires would lead us in our best future and family direction.

I really thought God was leading us to adoption and I truly believe that someday we will welcome a child born in our hearts into our house because my desire has not change even though our circumstance has.

I read on someone else blog a wonderful quote

However Motherhood Comes to You, it's a Miracle by Valerie Harper

I absolutely love that quote. All of the adopted mother's I have talked to will say they love their child who was born in their hearts the same as they would a child born from them. How beautiful is that. We have all been adopted by our Heavenly Father the day we asked Him to be in our hearts.

God certainly had other plans for us right now because He is creating a child in me right now. That is right folks....I AM PREGNANT. It has been 13 weeks and that still sounds strange and unreal to me. Wow, God is entrusting us to raise this child He has created and blessed us with. We are thrilled for sure and was quite surprised if you can even believe that.

I have debated on whether I should continue this blog--a blog I dearly love and God has used so much in my life and I pray in a few others.
God really lead me to this blog because of my pain of infertility and to create a community of sorts for others who are also struggling.

I have a couple of options, close this blog and start a new one or continue this blog in a new sort of way because this is God's story. I believe the latter is where God is leading me, so I will continue to add to this blog our journey as it continues from here. I pray you will join us in our new journey, but understand if you do not.

For those of you still out there waiting for your miracle, I heart you and pray for you. I will always have a special place for you in my heart.