Get to see baby again!

We have our next sonogram on Thursday! I am excited and nervous all at the same time.

Stay tuned for an update on that. Praying for good report on everything!

More Thoughts on Worry

I have been thinking more about my last post. I truly think worry is like a disease. It can totally take over your whole thinking and it distances you from God. It is a little demons skeem to move you farther away from God. When I am in my worry thinking that is all I can think about!

The latest worry is going into a level 2 ultrasound. I qualify for this simply because of my age not because they necessarily saw something that was worrisome. But, when I have my worry hat on, I struggle with the 'what if's.'

Today, I was thinking about my worrying disease and how dishonoring that is to God. It is like I am saying God's work is not good enough. How can you judge a perfect God like that? Well, I seem to think I can when I am in the worry box.

This baby in my belly is completely designed by God and made just the way he intended. Maybe she will come out with a stamp on her little hiney saying, "Made perfect in His Image."

Hope

It was music to my ears to have the doctor say, "you are measuring where you need to be." Yes! Our little girl is growing and it does not appear behind like she was at our sonogram at 17.5 weeks. I have definately gone through a belly growth spurt in the last 5 weeks! Because I am over 35 that qualifies us to have a level 2 ultrasound. It will be wonderful to see our girl again. Hopefully, she is doing well and developing into who she is meant to be. God has really been showing me areas I need to work on and one of those areas is WORRY. Worry is really like a disease. You have to really fight it!

I read on someone else's blog about a verse she uses to pray for her child. I LOVE the idea, so I want to share it with you.

For I know the plans I have for (insert child's name), declares the Lord, plans to prosper (insert child's name), and not to harm (child's name), to give (child's name) a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

JOY

I can hardly believe that I have hit 21 weeks being pregnant. At this point, there really is no hiding the fact! Thankfully, my nausea has gotten much better...not completely gone, but hey, I will take better. I have been really tired lately and sleeping through the night has not happened in weeks. I guess that is God's way of preparing me for those sleepless nights.

Can I be honest with a struggle I am having? I am still afraid this baby won't be. That this is still just a dream and in the end I will wake up and it will be gone. Or that this baby won't live or have serious problems. I am having a hard time excepting the JOY. I have kept JOY at arms length and that just makes me so sad that I am 'letting this time pass by.' It hit me the other day that the space between my heart and the JOY that God has brought is a lack of trust....trusting that God has it all in His hands and it is okay to feel the JOY.

I am sad that I am having trouble with excepting the JOY because I feel like I have lost bonding time with our baby. It is like I don't want to get too close because then if it does not turn out then I won't hurt as bad. Has anyone else felt this? Am I just super crazy? This area has been a big prayer for me. I am constantly learning to trust God!

On a sweet note, I think I have a nursery idea! Vintage!!