Today, was a really hard day. I think the lack of sleep lately is not helping my fragile state today! Last night, my husband and I shared with my parents about our infertility. We had been keeping it a secret, but it was time to share. It was SO hard and it is SO much harder when your mom has cancer and only God knows her time left here with us on earth.
I have been doing much better with the pregnancy announcements that are happening all around me, but today was just not a good day and it was all I could do to keep it together this morning in our Sunday school when another couple announced their pregnancy. It is a place like no other to be extremely happy for your dear friends, but also feel so much pain and sadness for yourself and then the struggle to not let it show because you don't want to be the person that rains on the parade.
I Life My Eyes Up
by Kutless
I lift my eyes up to the mountains
Where does my help come from
My help comes from You
Maker of heaven, creator of the earth
He keeps our feet firm,
He watches o’er us
He will not tire or rest
Truly He watches over His people
And He will not sleep
Chorus:
Oh how I need You Lord
You are my only hope
You’re my only prayer
So I will wait for You
To come and rescue me
Come and give me life
The Lord will keep you from every evil
He will tend your life
The Lord will guard you coming and going
Now and forevermore
3 comments:
I get it....I know....
I'm glad you told your parents. That helps not to carry that burden around.
Try your best to get some sleep (even if it's drug induced), as sleep can help you keep your head up.
Leah - I will just keep on praying, my friend! I love you!!
Hi, Leah,
Thank you for coming to my blog today. I know the way you are feeling all too well. It is so hard hearing everyone announce their pregnancies, having baby showers to go to, presents to buy for others, when you want to be the one with the announcement, the growing belly, and the baby shower gifts, the one who is expecting a baby of your own.
I don't know how much you have considered adoption, but adopting our son Owen has been the most wonderful blessing to me and my husband. We had 3 miscarriages before bringing him home, and he has brought us more joy than we ever could have imagined. We have since had 3 more miscarriages and 2 failed adoptions so we are on our way toward adopting a child from South Korea and are so excited about bringing her home.
I am glad you told your parents about your fertility challenges. It helps them to know not to ask you all the time when you're going to have a baby. If God has placed adoption on your heart, it may be for a very special reason. Your child may already be out there waiting for you. Pray more about it and feel free to ask me if you want to know more about our experiences. My blog is long but there's a lot in there too! :) There is a summary of our story over on the right side of my blog if you want to read that! :)
Thinking of you tonight and praying for your heart,
Adrienne
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